Mitchell Johnson... Putting The Shits Up The Poms!!!

Take a listen to what The Moose thinks about the just completed Champions Trophy Match between Australia, and England.

Oh yeah, and that guy in the picture? Mitchell Johnson. The guy who, well, could quite possibly not play one single Ashes Test, yet made KP look like Jay-Z at the Ballet - What do I mean by that? SOFT.

Think about it. And Just Listen. HAHAHA!

TCA Cricket Round One Report

Hello and Welcome to the start of season 2006/2007 in the Tasmanian Cricket Association.

Highlights from Round 1 see Glenorchy maintain its two year unbeaten run in One Dayers, defeating a tigers-ladelled side at Tassie's home of cricket, Bellerive Oval, and "The Polk Star" smashing 131 off 115 balls against a hapless New Town to register the Bay's first win in about 16 years… well not 16 but it feels like an eternity - South Hobart Sandy Bay with Polky - 4 million wins - South Hobart Sandy Bay without Polky - 1 win. He is a jet, but this does nothing for the clubs development whatsoever, and partly the reason I left... Cough *HEATH GRIGGS* cough...

Anyway, highlight for me in Round 1 would be my captaincy debut for The Pies in Second Grade - a role which I've taken to get back to enjoying my cricket, and my form last year probably didn't warrant my spot anyway in the 1's. So, it all started well with winning the toss, and I elected to bowl on quite a soft deck with a plethora of grass coverage. My decision was justified when we had reduced the Second Grade Premiers for the past 4 years, Clarence, to 6 for 52… A plethora of drop catches ensued (Smith, Clarence's captain, making 81 in a 154 run partnership with Bannister - Smith being dropped on 0 twice off my bowling, and Bannister surviving 2 missed stumpings) and with the young attack at my disposal (my own return of 2/31 off ten) it was hard to restrict the Roos. Final target to chase was 251, a target that, on a track which always flattens out (as it did after 25 overs here), was acheiveable.

No one was overly keen to open, so I took it upon myself to open the innings for the boys, with Nuttsy, last years batting average winner, in toe. Nuttsy went second ball missing a straight one, and I was joined at the crease by the returning Stebbings, after an absence from the club. He was patient, and looked for the singles, which allowed me to play my natural game that I had obviously re-discovered while away at the R.C.C.. Needless to say chaos ensued, and after smashing 42 from 30 deliveries, was bowled by Clarence's young off-spinner, who turned one about 2 foot to take out my off stump. Stebbs followed soon after, and a plethora of wickets fell at regular intervals... Maybe shouldve been looking to push that one on the off side, rather than belt it backward of square Moose… Hmmm…!

In the end we fell 65 runs short, disappointing but we just threw too many wickets away and failed to rotate the strike in the middle of the innings, and obviously had we held our catches we wouldve been chasing 150, not 250… Nevermind, this is a young side and we will bounce back. I found captaincy pretty damn challenging, and was always looking and thinking of different ways to get a wicket, and unfortunately nothing seemed to work, but again it doesn't help when catches go down left right and centre! Big week on the training track with our fielding. Next week is a Saturday/Sunday Stanza against New Town, which looks like I'll be bowling 6 million overs, as Spotty (opening bowler), Penny (Leggie), and young Baa (Elliott Maher) are all unavailable. So, a challenging year ahead, but individually speaking its started off pretty well. Feeling fit and hoping to get a lot fitter!

A shout out as well to Andrew Jackett, me old mate - Made 55 on his return for University's First Grade side, after 2 years dwelling in the Scooby Doo's… Smashed them I heard! Well done mate - However he did bowl - whats going on there???

Hope your all doing well guys, speak to you soon hopefully, take care.

The Moose.

Rootin' For Australia

Back at work, back at work… Oh the pain, the pain of it all… I don't mind it here, don't get me wrong, but after 6 months of running around, being active all the time, now im sitting down for 10 hours a day twiddling my fingers thinking about running around and doing things…

... Ahh dear. Now I gotta get my gym-face on I guess and damage some treadmills and stuff. Plan at this stage is gym it up 3 days a week (currently out of the equation is this - mild pneumonia have I), with cricket training twice and obviously game day. Drinking will be limited (but not restricted to) Saturday evenings, but will attempt to work as many Sundays as possible… Ok so maybe that’s a lie, as fewer Sundays as possible... onto pressing matters...

CMON AUSTRALIA! Selectors have got it right, Watson to open, Katich out - ICC Champions Trophy should be ours. One guarantee sports fans - Poms are gone!!! Good News to most of you out there, as they capitulated to Indias "penetrative" pace attack last night. HAHAHAHAHA. Can't say I'm not overly happy. But hey, any day Stevey Harmison goes for 24 off his first over and Flintoff gets out for a globe (0, or nought), Moose is a happy boy... Speaking of Poms...

... You Pommy peoples will be noticing a string of drunken late-night calls recently, I'm not going to apologise for this, simply advise that you may see your phone ringing occasionally, and if you think its me, good odds it will be. And I bet you all hate that, don't you!



You will also notice a picture on this particular entry of "Lance" - currently my one and only love. I have "jazzed" him up a bit since I've been back, with money I currently don’t have, but you get that on the big jobs. Basically I was sick of wanna-be racers copying what I've done, and oh dear me has it been done. For the record Lance had his kit since 2003 - yep, 3 years he has been done up, back in the days no-one had an Evo kit, especially not an Evo 5 kit. And it’s a legitimate one, not a cheap mock-up. He is jazzed to the nth, and the only thing I gotta do is his engine, but he is going alright and to be fair the old saying that whats on the inside is what counts, I don’t think that’s true at all, RUUUBBBASSHHH, even.

So, enjoy Lance in all his glory… In all his splendour... In all his Mitsubishi Marvellousnessess. Thats my update, and from Scotty 2 Hotty...

... "Shake and Bake" - Ricky Bobby, 2006.

Grand Final Day With Strauchnie

Strauchnie (Pronounced Straw-Knee) and the style that got him to Collingwood on a massive contract.

Well, This past Saturday as everyone should know (or for my English friends maybe not), was AFL Grand Final Day. That's Aussie Rules, the "Real Football". And we were lucky enough to have a celebrity guest...

After watching the World Cup (and a Plethora of Premiership and Champions League Fixtures) amongst a group of the most patriotic if not the most patriotic people on Earth, I figured I was starting to really get into the "World Game" as we call it, and lose all fleeting interest for our version of kick the ball around a park. But, Grand Final Day is a day to look forward to all year round in Austraya, and this year was no different, especially when the boys who partook in celebrations at a little place called "The Chev", consumed more alcohol in 17 hours than Maradona between Argentina matches... But a bit more of that later.

Comparisons can't be made to a World Cup Final. I mean, you have to buy tickets to watch it in a pub, if you can find one open. You can't drink William DeGrave's finest, only watered-down Fosters, and well, not to whinge, but it's not Grand Final Day, is it! Its like a changing of a season, End of the game, you know the next beer you sink will be watching the Aussies do battle with the rest of the world in the middle of the "G". In England, the end of the Premiership season is like the beginning of the new one. Now I'm not saying one is better than the other, not at all... And I hear you saying "But its the World Cup" - well, if there was a World Cup for Aussie Rules, we would get around it, open our pubs at 8am and get on it till the same time the next day, oh yeah, and we would win it...

So, anyway, enough of my cruddy comparisons of these 2 totally different and perplexing sports. Grand Final day was upon me, so, at 8am (alarm was set), up I get and stop in at the local store, or the "Magra Village" as it is known to those in the loop, for some Chips. Now, I was faced with a daunting task - Salt and Vinegar, BBQ or Chicken... So I got all 3 to keep the masses happy, and show I can bring more than beer to this party. Meat was sorted and supplied by the Ball and Chain (I think, thanks Big Unit), and beer was a "Bring what you can" affair. A late text from Rodders ensured The Lance would be loaded, as he needed a new box of "Teds". 3 cartons in The Lance, 2 for me of course (of which 1 remains, I drank the reserve of Degrave's Gold and found it to be a bottomless supply) and one for Rod Rod. I arrived at Chev nigh on 9:45, just in time for the TAC cup final - to my despair, the plasma had been moved downstairs but connections for digital TV there were not - nevermind, Pre-Match Commentary ensued, and Rod and I began our quest of drinking right through the day. Ash was busy preparing the food, and of course last minute alterations to the guest list (The Bec Star, as fate would have it, decided to invite her friends around as it was also her Birthday, this of course not proving a problem, only that we had to barricade the room as to not let too many female hormones get us all girly for the big day, and waiver our concentration from getting extremely pissed) saw the expected crowd swell into the high twenties.

After several games of 8-ball, none of which I won, and a couple of games of "Around the World" Darts, of which I won the Championship match (Hereby shall be known as "Around the World Interational Champion"), it was time to take our seats for pre-match entertainment and of course first round of food off the Barbie. Ash had kindly cooked up some Bacon and Egg Sarnies for the boys, and just quietly, Creme' De Mont'h, did they go down a treat. Unfortunately the Pre-Match was a bit of a shocker, other than of course "Up there Cazaly" - Gets the old butterflies going that one. One after another the Australian Idiots, sorry Idols had their go, painful as it was. We invented our own form of entertainment, calling "Bang" whenever we saw a piece of skirt (or "nice young females whom we find slightly attractive" for those a bit sensitive). The boys who didn't call "Bang" had to take a swig - no one too keen to join me and Rodders on our Journey today.

So as it goes, Footy started, Ash fired up the BBQ with a Plethora of dishes (no chicken let it be noted) and Gibbo, or, "The Moose", got home from work. Now, its weird yes we both have the nickname Moose, mine being moreso a direct cricket nickname which has stuck to me like shit to a blanket. Gibbo was Moose first - I should know, I made it up. Thankyou Ben Targett for creating the same nickname as my mate 5 months after I gave it to him. Original. Anyway, the expected crowd decided not to show which meant a lot of beer could go to waste - never fear, the boys are here, and mental we went until half time, when we had an AFL star turn up to kick around the footy with us. Collingwood Gun, Strauchnie.

STRAUCHNIEEEEEEE!!!!!!

We couldn't believe it. We also couldn't believe he didn't win the shot at goal contest, and looked still hungover from the Brownlow Medal. Nevertheless, Chaos ensued when Strauchnie came back inside - Girls all over him, and he showed no interest in watching the footy... Shattered, we left him to it and downstairs we headed for the second half, which turned out to be a ball buster. Final Score was West Coast 85, Sydney 84 - only the second Grand Final since St Kilda won their one and only Flag in 1966. Strauchnie eventually left with 6 of Bec's friends and left the boys to it. We continued to drink, only this time while playing SWAT on the X Box, on the plasma. Needless to say being the Sony Champion doesn't bode well on X Box, but I held my own even if I couldn't see half my screen past Gibbo's cranium. Vodka eased the pain of defeat and upstairs for some impromptu wrestling saw Gibbo bleed, Rod split in 2 and McNaughton (Special Guest Referee coz I don't wanna hurt the boys) sent home with a suspected broken knee cap. Not Really but its a good story and doesn't make me look too soft, even though I am. Ash remains Undisputed World Champion, as he has been since 1998.

Me showing why I forged an early retirement from the game, aged 17. Please notice the massive "guns" and for those in England you will know my shirt intimitely... this was a shot from at least 60 out on the run which I put through admirably... through someones window about 15 metres to my left.

And clocks had to go forward... So when we thought 3am was a good finish time, it turned out to be 4 and an hour till daylight... So we decided come 11 we would play Tennis. And a brief run down? McNaughton/Oakley (AKA Pistol Pete Sampras/Pat Cash) Vs Gibson/Rhodes (AKA Bjorg/Philloppousis) - We took the first set 6-4, lost the second 6-0 (we were starting to feel extremely ill - vodka perhaps?) and went down 6-3 in the third. Admirable considering we both felt like turning inside out.

So, a big day, and a bigger hangover... BANG!

Go the Pies!!!

p.s. Strauchnie is actually me old mate Rod, whom does a terrific Strauchnie and I thought deserved a mention. Poms, I will buy the Strauchnie DVD and send over to show you.