Texas Hold 'Em Two Counties International 2006

Hi Sports Fans,

What a day for sports entertainment. Wednesday the 30th of August will 'go down' in history as one of the most electrifying moments in sports we have seen for some time.

The game? Texas Hold 'Em. A late invite via Andy (Ricky's Sister's Fiancee and all round good guy) saw Ricky 'Suicide' Yates and Tasmanian, Scotty 'Bluff Master Flexx' McNaughton join into what was a massive table comprising in total of 9 contestants. Fivers in, making a massive pot of £45 up for grabs.

Start time? 8pm. We were never going to be late, Ricky's 'If I die, I die' driving mentality getting us there with a plethora of time up our sleeve. The venue was Steve's place, who had constructed his own poker table via instructions on the net - not a bad effort just quietly.

The Psyche-outs started early, even before seat placings had been selected. Andy, on the way to Steve's, even said to 'The Flexx' - "I hope your Texas Hold 'Em is better than your 9 card brag". To which he could only chuckle... self doubts started spiralling in his mind... Could he do it? Or, would he, as so often the case, 'Bottle It'???

Rumours abound of a 'League Table' and 'Ranking Points' were certainly putting the gee-whillipers up Suicide and The Tasmanian. At worst, we would be a Fiver down. McNaughton drew seat #5, right next to the number 1 ranked player Andy, which really did little for him. Rickster drew #9, wedging him between a lady known only as 'The Juggernaut' and a bloke called 'Bulldog' (looks amazingly similar to a bloke off of Angel, so Suicide told me...). So, even before kick-off, the boys were against the wall.

So, everything was set. Lights dimmed, poker faces on - lets rumble.

First to go after 15 minutes was, you guessed it, Suicide, proving not only is his driving, table tennis and one-kneed coverdrives erratic, but so be his poker. Going in even with nothing in his hand, 'Suicide' set to go home early doors. Another shock exit, that of World #1 Andy sent shockwaves through the competition, and gave Steve, currently #2 in the World, a chance at the big time. Last years winner, Steve played most of the night with minimal chips, but was to show his 2005 Title-Winning Form.

Bluff Master Flex(McNaughton) was down to 25 chips, and all in. A big pot win sees him jump, and another win on the next hand takes him back up to a comfortable pot of around 100 chips, far from the Juggernaut and a guy with a T-Shirt saying 'make tea, not war'. Bill Gates 'Sick Fakey' Dude, the man positioned next to McNaughton, saw his chips dwindle away at regular intervals. The Bulldog built, and so did this other guy who unfortunately I can't remember his name (table possie #7).

After 3 hours, the action heated up. A lot of folding, small pots and mucking about seemed to stall the table. Blinds were raised. Bluff Master Flex was left one-on-one with The Bulldog, whom he got to fold, and won BMF a big, big pot. Only a couple of hands later, BMF managed to get The Bulldog and T-Shirt Guy all in, and pulled out three 7's, smashing any hope they had. BMF had built a massive, massive pot. This newcomer from Tassie can play, they said. Notice they did take - but, they still thought they could crack him. With Suicide almost falling asleep in the corner, looking despondent he has had to watch all night, and Bulldog running home to have some 'one-on-one' time, McNaughton had Flexxed, and lived up to his name, at this stage...

Bill Gates 'Sick Fakey' Dude the next to go, McNaughton not part of his demise - had they picked up he only plays when he has got a hand? Apparently not as McNaughton cleaned up one pot with nothing more than a 2 of hearts and a 9 of spades - gotta love chip power. The Juggernaut soon after followed this procession home, outdone by 'The Flexx' and his 2 pair.

So, Three Remain. The guy I can't remember his name, Steve and BMF all the way from Tassie. Chip power, at 12:20am, was with The Bluff. Action was ensured here. The top bloke whom I cant remember went all in early, almost level with McNaughton on chips - only about 20 in the bank - and McNaughton only had a 5 and a 6. 4 cards were down and it looked like Bluff Master Flexx's days were numbered - He needed a 7 on the river (last and final card shown)... And it was meant to be, that magical number 7 coming up and a straight for McNaughton, 'The Flexx' through to the top 2, and taking on potentially the new world #1 if he came up trumps here - Steve a mighty adversary.

Blinds raised again for this showdown. Could McNaughton be the first International Flavour to take all their money? Well, not long in, at 12:34am, Steve went all in. A potential game-leveller for him, a title shot for McNaughton... And not to be out down, 'The Flexx' met Steve's bet. Steve pulled down an Ace and a Five... Not bad. The Flexx flicked over his cards to reveal a match-winning hand - Ace, and a King. Up came a 'King on the flop' and McNaughton had done it, taken their money and a plethora of chips. What a win from the Cinderella Boy.

He came, he saw, and oh yes did he conquer. A second invite? More than likely not forthcoming, especially considering Deportation on Tuesday of next week. Ranking points will see me jump up the leaderboard, and I shall add the link to the groups Website when Rickster sends me the link. Check it out, they are a great bunch and cannot thank them enough for having me...

I'm guessing they wish they hadn't this morning...

The Final Countdown... Daaadaadaadaa Da Da Da Da Daaaa...

Apparently time flies when you are having fun - well stuff me if this hasn't been the quickest four and a half months of my life! It has gone so bloody quickly, I have met so many great people and done so many things that I never thought I would ever do.

So, what have I been up to? Well, I've been into London with old Nick Morant - showed me about the old city. There are some pictures I have uploaded so please have a look. Was in there all bloody day, and well, a majority of the evening - the exercise of getting home was well, forgotten, as apparently I cleared a tube through my constant dribble and occasional misuse of the English language (oh yeah, and apparently I was sick? Don't believe that for a minute!). Nick was going to give me a list of all the places we went to, but he still hasn't, I'll update all that later on.

Sunday before last I had the honour of playing in Liphook's president's day - made some runs (52) but the best bit was old Dunx Bradshaw popped down for a game. Stole the show with 50* and a 2-for, and good to see the big Zimbabwean bugger who is now based here in Oxford. Was meant to play golf but for reasons out of my control (Chris Jnr going camping with his wife, stitched me up didn't he), that's not to be (and to be fair my current golf form is far from convincing so maybe next year me old mate!).

And, just last week was the annual RCC North Yorkshire Tour - One of the 'Best Evers', so I've been told. 2 games of cricket in 5 days is way too many - cuts into the drinking time (but to be fair a break was well encouraged after what was the biggest drinking week of my life).
Monday we arrived and played 5-a-side football, my 5 versus Hindy's 5 - needless to say a lack of mobility, and ability by my side (lack of ability only coming through myself - we only scored 1 goal when I was not 'keeping), but won both shootouts in a morale-boosting victory for the boys. I must apologise to Skillsy, Ricky, Metters Ian and Jack, for my outburst at half time.

Our first match against Ripon (a tie) I was lucky to get the services of a one Luke 'Swooper' Swards (91) who was playing for a club in the area, Luke plays for Kingborough and the State Second XI. Was a good day and an even better night, Yates Snr snatching Man of the Match out of my hands (4/39 and 32 off about 16 balls) with a superb 58.

Wednesday was at the York races, and saw the RCC pull a last race winner which netted us over £300. Chaos Ensued.

Thursday we played a team called Masham (pronounced mass-ham, not mash-em) and lost. Highlights of this match would see Chris 'I love to ruin a Friendly day out' Yates Jnr smash a ton, and McNaughton 'keeping only conceding 7 byes on a wicket described by 1st Team 'keeper Metcalfe as ' one that Jack Russell would struggle on'. Alas, as I conceded more than 5 I had to buy the boys a round, and yes, it hurt. Fair to say I hit the wall this night, big time.

And Friday, whereby Percy won Man of the Tour honours JUST pipping me on an extra vote - and to think he went home early one night. Shame Percy, Shame. Had an absolute ball and also came home a World Record Holder, devouring a full McChicken in 44 seconds - every last drop of anything had to be eaten, and I was challenged by Hindy and Ricky, who hated coming home with nothing. Happy to accept challenges upon my arrival home! Word of the tour - 'Erosion'.

Saturday was a forfeit from the other team, 'coz they couldn't get a side... So i've missed the last 2 weeks and any chance of pushing for 20 wickets or 400 runs. Nevermind, one game to go, and maybe 10 for and a double ton may be gettable! Who Knows.

Sunday I played in Frensham's President's Day (love Pressie Days, Free Grog and Food all day!!!) got myself a first baller and a couple of lazy wickets, and ate a plethora of bacon and hash browns courtesy of the President Mr John 'Rukes and Pooles' Storey.

And to my last week, as I said at the start can't believe how quick the times gone, and will have a Plethora of stories on my return. This may well be my last email, so until next week and my arrival back in the Isle of the Apple...

Stay Classy,

The Moose.

The Rowledge Cricket Club Table Tennis Association 2006 World Championship

Hi Sports Fans and welcome to the Inaugural Rowledge Cricket Club Table Tennis Association 2006 World Championship, or as it is known in some quarters the R.C.C.I.T.T.F. International 2006. Its a sunny evening for this event and will for the first time be held outside, yet another obstacle for these superstars to overcome.

The Venue - Lloyd Arena.

The Date - 9th of August 2006.

The Participants (only the top 5 Internationals Invited - they were...)

Chris "THE POWER" Yates Jnr

Ian "ONE SHOT WONDER" Metcalfe

Ricky "THE DESTROYER" Yates

David "QUICK HANDS" Lloyd

And the International Flavour, Scotty "HAS HE THE BOTTLE" McNaughton.

This is what the Stars were playing for -

A simple format was created for this Tournament, everyone would play each other once, with names drawn out of a hat to define the order, and then the Semi-Finals, Third Place Play Off and Final would take place. The Fifth placed superstar would then be banished from the competition and forced to cook the BBQ for the remainder of the participants. This is how the round robin went down...

Lloyd Vs McNaughton - 16-21

The Australian off to a flyer in this competition and a much needed confidence boosting win against Lloyd, highly fancied to feature in the final rounds. McNaughtons "stay in the rally" mentality proving a match winner here. Lloyd with the pressure on, and this was shown directly after the match, burning 5 burgers.

The Power Yates Vs Metcalfe 21-10

Metcalfe, a virtual unknown and accepting an invitation only after the Chinese Grand Master Chin-Gon Wag-Ing withdrew with tonsilitis, showed extreme promise during the warm up making some extremely aggressive shots look painfully easy. The Power Yates looked nervous, but shook these off like yesterdays clothes winning comfortably. Metcalfe the one to watch for mine Sports Fans, The Power looking good early.

Ricky "The Destroyer" Vs Lloyd 19-21

Lloyd with something to prove, oh and didn't he here. Looking sharp against the highly unorthodox and not-so-good-looking master of the 2-handed backhand Ricky "Destroyer" Yates, whose only destroying was his own ship sinking faster than an Israeli Battleship. Lloyd looking bouyant and showing he can cook a BBQ now, looking sharp with bat, tongs, and well, he just looks comfortable with anything in his hands. R.Yates with lots of work to do here, my money for a fifth place finish here.

Bottler McNaughton Vs The Power Yates 15-21

McNaughton with an unexpected stumble against the consistent looking Yates, both with a rally -based game this was one of the longest games in the Championship. In the end, The Power too consistent, and looking a million dollars half way through the tournament. McNaughton starting to show signs of choking.

One Shot Metcalfe Vs Destroyer Yates 13-21

Well, looks like Metcalfe has some work to do here - Destroyer gets a win, my mortgage on that being the last in the tournament for him.

Lloyd Vs The Power 17-21

On a roll the power, 3 from 3 and looking sharper than a set of Stanley Knives. Lloyd 1 win from 3 and work to do, his last match against Metcalfe - that could be the one to look forward too Sports Fans.

McNaughton Vs Metcalfe 21-14

Well, was expecting Metcalfe to try and take apart that mouthy Tasmanian, who now has a semi place guaranteed with 2 wins. Metcalfe now sweating on Lloyd choking when it counts. McNaughton looking good, as that mirror mirror on the wall described. Metcalfe better not cost me my mortgage, feeling a little nervous here - hasn't hit his straps in this tournament.

Destroyer Vs The Power 16-21

Has he got The Power? Answer is a big fat yes as he completes an undefeated Round 1 and takes the number 1 seeding into the semis. Destroyer again looked out of his depth, and may be tinkering on the end of the plank if he doesn't defeat pre-tournament favourite McNaughton. I'm Excited.

Quick Hands Vs One Shot 21-12

There goes my house, and Lloyd into the semis. The Peoples Champion, Metcalfe, bows out to what one can only call one of the greatest upsets of RCCITTF history. Lloyd looking dangerous, and slightly turned on by his ultra-tight bike shorts and long socks...

Bottler Vs Destroyer 18-21

Yep, he bottled it. The Power the only undefeated player in Round 1 and McNaughton shows why a semi draw against him could prove a bonus. Was down here but fought back, the unconventional stroke play of Destroyer Yates proving as distracting as it is effective.

FINAL STANDINGS

THE POWER 4 WINS 0 LOSSES +26 POINT DIFFERENCE
QUICK HANDS 2 W 2 L +24 PD
BOTTLER 2 W 2 L +4 PD
DESTROYER 2 W 2 L +4 PD
ONE SHOT 0 W 4 L -35 PD

And so we are into the part of the competiton that counts - Semi Final Action!

FIRST SEMI

THE POWER 21 VS QUICK HANDS 16

And Yates turns on The Power to dispatch Quick Hands to fight for 3rd place. As convincing a win as you will see, and The Power looking slightly disappointed he has gone from crowd favourite to being booed off court - I guess everyone loves an outsider, and Yates has looked anything but from the outset. Who will he face in the final? Lloyd extremely upset at his "early exit" from the tournament and was last seen heading for the trampoline with his comfort toy and a burnt burger.

SECOND SEMI

THE DESTROYER 21 VS HE HAS NOT GOT THE BOTTLE 16

And thats why the questions have been asked - he chokes when it counts. Pre-Tournament Favourite has been flushed out, and even though The Destroyer's backhand has been reported to the RCCITTF Commission, he cannot be banned until after the Tournament. Expect McNaughton to appeal here, sore loser he is.

FINAL FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP

And so here we are sports fans, a battle for the Yates sporting stranglehold, an epic encounter expected here. A capacity crowd at Lloyd Arena, lets get to it. 3 sets for the final, first to win 2.

CHRIS "THE POWER" YATES VS RICKY "THE DESTROYER" YATES

FIRST SET - 19-21

The expectant crowd were not left disappointed here, a tense first set sees the underdog Ricky pick up first honours. He has the momentum, he has the unorthodoxisity, he has the consistency and it seems the big shots - highlights of this set include some great diving saves and forceful coverdrives across table from The Destroyer. The Power has been switched off for now. Can he find that spark to get the turbine running again? He is fighting against a violent crowd and vicious opponent...

SECOND SET 21-8

Oh, can he find the power. What a way to come back here, an absolute annihilation of the inconsistent Ricky. Not much more to be said apart from yet another swing in this epic. What will happen in the Third and Final Set? Stay Tuned...

THIRD SET 23-21

And we have our first WORLD CHAMPION!!! It is fair to say The Destroyer absolutely bottled this one, but a winner we have and a well deserved champion at that. He takes away the innagural championship and all the glory...

Until next time Sports Fans, Stay Classy and say hi to the Mrs for me.

Joey The BBQ Master

I cant believe its a Month and ill be home, how bloody quick has this gone!

Anyway, on to my first 'Best Ever' for this email, well, its the only best ever but... Yesterday, Sunday that was, I had the pleasure of attending Chrissy Jnr's Birthday BBQ at his household in Jubilee Road in the quite plush suburb of Aldershot. This is apparently an annual event and by the organisation you can tell it has been done before. This obviously being my first one, I was quite impressed with what was on offer. A nice full eski with a nice mixture of different beers (I stuck to the Fosters - can't wait to get back on me old mate Cascade), and 2, yes 2 BBQ's. One being a coal barbie, the other gas, a marquee and ample room for a game of cricket.

I arrived with the Rickster, Chrissy Snr and the Lynnstar around 3 - Lynne minced for a considerable amount of time, making our expected arrival time of 2 blown way out of the water. Never to mind, as not many had arrived by this time. So, with the ever reliable Joey Boy on one BBQ (his own coal masterpiece) and Mark on the other (bloke I dont really know too well), the food was well on the way. Can it please be noted that Joey is the best English BBQ quite possibly ever, and if I could bring him home to cook all of ours I would. Coal is the way forward.

So, after considerable amounts of Fosters and chicken drumsticks behind us, it was time for the backyard cricket. Now, Chrissy Jnr of course batted first and batted for what seemed like 3 hours. Nevermind, he was usurped by a moose special seeing the top of the wheelie bin exposed to a vicious turning delivery which may have hit the wall on the way down... Nevermind, my turn to bat, which lasted all of about 5 balls, in my typical late season form. So once about 16 balls had been lost, and several beer cans diminished, it was stumps and time for drinking games.

Now, I'm hoping I improve before tour, because lets just say 6 shots of Jagermeister in the space of 12 games of "Fives" (we had to have a shot for every 2 games we lost - yep I lost all of them I think) made me an extremely paraletic little piece of the works. So, wasted as I was, I continued to drink and drink I did, back to a sober state by midnight when everyone was in bed. So, it was my turn for sleep.
I look back on the barbie and, well, if there is one thing I learnt, is don't play Fives, or at least get better at it before I get home to teach everyone if they dont already know because I dont want to suck at it then as well... Oh yeah, and drunken texts from the other side of the world would be good to stop as well!!! (apologies to those parties whom have been phoned/txt'd during the.... hang on its the middle of the day there why am I apologising!!!).

Well guys, I best be off, going to walk up and down main street Farnham for half an hour... Imagine Sandy Bay about 4 O'Clock when Uni is finished... Oh yes, its true. I'm living a dream which, unfortunately, is almost over... this time.

And my quote of the day... He who flings mud, loses a lot of ground.

Stay Classy.

Moose.